shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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