I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
