sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
