which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
