the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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