I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i now understand why vodka
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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