that's an acceptable place to lick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
