Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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