Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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