we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
