the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
