I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize