Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
