with your own penis?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
