So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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