You just made me feel so damn special
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
