I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize