I'm so fucking centered right now
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
