while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
