cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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