I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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