I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
