I wish I could teleport
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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