Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
