she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my liver is dry heaving
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
