just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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