That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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