We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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