seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
