I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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