Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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