...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize