Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
