okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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