i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
