She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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