I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
