yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
