this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
