Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Randomize
