Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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