my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
