Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
