...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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