im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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