Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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