whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
