Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
