Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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