i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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