question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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