Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i drank out of a bidet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize