so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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