Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
