I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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