so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
