her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
