oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
