I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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