Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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