Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
