Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
