There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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