you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
