how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My vagina just clenched in fear
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize