you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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