Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
